Notes To Myself

March 22, 2016

Wake up and open your curtains. Your windows too.

Drink some tea or coffee, whatever pleases you. Notice every sip.

Have some fresh fruit and finish breakfast feeling full.

Stand outside and feel the air. Cool or warm, it will make you feel real.

Get some exercise. Yoga to soothe, running to breathe, lifting for strength.

Take care of your body. Have a nice shower and pamper as much as you want afterward.

If you’re going to work, remember you have the chance to make anyone’s day or to ruin it. Act accordingly.

Weed out the bad language. It’s only creating tension in your body and mind. Kind words are infinitely more appreciated.

Take some time each day to improve your mind. Keep reading that great book. Listen to an incredible piece of music. Practice an instrument or a skill. The progress is its own reward.

Pictures will help you remember how wonderful life is. But spend less time on your phone and more time seeing the world face to face.

Go to sleep knowing that you have done well. Tomorrow is there with room to become even better.


You Must Learn Her

March 14, 2016

You must know the reason why she is silent.
You must trace her weakest spots.
You must write to her.
You must remind her that you are there.
You must know how long it takes for her to give up.
You must be there to hold her when she is about to.

You must love her because many have tried and failed.
And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved,
That she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her.



July 6, 2015

Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready.
They can love you in a way you have never been loved,
And still not join you on the bridge.
And whatever their reasons you must leave.
Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge.
You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready.
There is more extraordinary love,
More love that you have never seen,
Out here in this wide and wild universe.
And there is the love that will be ready.


It Can Be Easy

June 19, 2015

To romanticize a passion or a social cause or a marriage
Or raising kids with tons of posed pictures and flowery words –
But all such things are gritty, raw, rough, and painstakingly sculpted from our fully invested hearts.
There is a lot of standing around and sweating through our shirts
And seasons of self-doubt and all the frustrated parts that no one else can see.
We fall in love with highlights but these were formed in the valley.
Please don’t be seduced by soundbites and filtered photos and bowtie daydreams.
Real joy actually hurts, but that’s why it’s real.
It was carved from the best of us.


Nothing Beautiful Ever Asks For Attention

April 3, 2015

Nothing truly beautiful ever asks for attention. This quote has stuck with me ever since I heard my coworker speak the words. Nothing truly beautiful ever asks for attention – it just naturally exists, as it is, in confidence and boldness.

Remember this the next time you chase someone you think you love. Remember this the next time you feel as if you need to compete for the attention of someone you admire. Generationally speaking, we often feel the need to prove ourselves to the heart we regard. We often feel the need to change ourselves to better suit their needs, we often wonder if we are exactly what they are looking for, or if they have other options. I have heard the sentiment many times over, I have seen it dissect beautiful moments and sensationalize less than beautiful relationships. Stop the “If onlys” and the “But maybes.” Trust me when I say that those do not exist within the boundaries of the love you want. They only exist within the reality of the love you chase.

The most awe-inspiring person I ever had the privilege of loving planted his feet firmly in front of me and said “This is what I want.” There was courage, transparency. There was declaration.

There was no insecurity, there was no need to compare myself to others or compete. The most awe-inspiring person I ever had the privilege of loving chose me every single day, and I chose him. When that wasn’t the case, we parted ways. We didn’t drag it out, we didn’t try to convince the other. We didn’t feel the need to grip, and chase something that did not fulfill us or inspire us. It was natural, and organic, and it allowed for me to feel deeply and confidently. That is the kind of love you want.

Do not chase another human being. Instead, chase your curiosity. Chase your development and your goals. Chase your passion. Strive to work for something bigger than yourself, and instead of trying to convince someone that you fit within their world, strive to build your own.

Relationships are not melting pots. They are unions. You walk into them with your own visions, your own hunger, and when you are confident in that, when you allow for that to thrive within you, you never break yourself down to appease the pursuit. You simply exist, as you are, and when you meet someone who does as well, when you meet someone who chooses you within that, you thrive together, and that creates a dynamic that is ever growing and influential.

Nothing beautiful ever asks for attention. Let that be a testament. The truly carnal relationship, the attraction, the pull to another human being – it simply survives. It flourishes. It is the kind of beauty that lives within ribcages, that surges throughout bones, that you cannot explain, that allows you to “just know.” It is never bred from contest; it is never bred from uncertainty. You will never have to work to inspire it within someone, because it will simply exist within them.



January 25, 2015

I think we like to talk a lot about being brave because the actual doing of it is so freaking terrifying. And tiring. And ordinary. It’s my belief that true fearlessness comes from living loved. When we find our worth and our value, then, what can man do to us? I don’t think we can be a people-pleaser or an approval-addict AND be brave with our lives. Perhaps that’s why fearlessness or bravery starts with our identity first, it’s the deep well from which we draw living water, enough for today. I believe that bravery is born in the quiet and ordinary moments long before it’s seen by anyone else. Sometimes it’s as simple and devastating as the moments no one else will ever see – the moments of daring to be honest with our own self, of laying down our excuses or justifications or disguises, of asking ourselves what we really want, of forgiveness, of honesty, of choosing the hard daily work of restoration, of staying resolutely alive when every one else is just numbing themselves against life. These are why our friends matter so deeply: they are witness to the sacred secrets. Not all secrets are terrifying things, some of them are beautiful and transformative.


The Night Has a Thousand Eyes

January 15, 2015

The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one:
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.

– Francis William Bourdillon